In marriage, cheating means breaking the promise to remain faithful to one’s partner. This promise can be in the form of a marriage vow or a personal agreement with one’s spouse.
Cheating can be done by either men or women. However, which gender is more vulnerable to infidelity after marriage, men or women?
Why People Cheat After Marriage?
Cheating is a common occurrence in many marriages, but that doesn’t mean it is justifiable. There are many reasons that lead people to cheat and break their marriage vows, including:
- Anger toward the partner
- Feeling bad about oneself (low self-esteem)
- Lack of love and satisfaction in the relationship
- Low commitment to the relationship
- Need for varied and exciting relationships
- Neglect
- Revenge
- Problems with addiction, such as drugs, alcohol, or gambling
- Unfulfilled intimacy needs, and more
It’s important to understand that these reasons stem from the cheater’s issues, not the responsibility of the betrayed partner. Regardless of the situation, there are choices to address problems in a marriage rather than resorting to betrayal.
There are several reasons infidelity occurs after marriage. However, underlying these reasons is often the theme of unmet needs. These needs in a relationship may not be communicated and are left unaddressed. Not everyone is willing to put in the effort to resolve issues in their marriage. Long-term stable relationships require good communication between partners.
Many people prefer to seek instant solutions rather than think hard about facing problems. Some others may carry burdens from childhood, such as neglect, abuse, or witnessing their parents’ infidelity, which affects their ability to maintain commitment.
Who Is More Vulnerable to Cheating, Men or Women?
Research conducted by the Institute for Family Studies from 2010 to 2016 on married or previously married men and women found that, in general, men are more likely to cheat than women.
This varies somewhat by age. Among adults aged 18-29 who are married, women are slightly more likely to cheat (11%) compared to men in the same age group (10%). However, in the subsequent age groups, from 30 to over 80 years old, men are more likely to cheat.
Cheating and Its Impact on Mental Well-Being
Infidelity can have serious effects on the emotional and psychological well-being of both the cheater and the betrayed partner. For those who have been betrayed, infidelity can be a low point in life, especially if the betrayal has been ongoing for a long time.
A betrayed person may find it easier to heal if their partner honestly discloses the infidelity.
For the cheater, there may be more feelings of wanting to fix their mistake than actual regret. Being honest with one’s partner about the affair is the first step toward mending the relationship.
Whether you are the one who cheated or the one who has been cheated on, you are not alone. Many couples can recover from infidelity and regain happiness in their marriage.
After infidelity has occurred, both partners should agree on what counts as cheating in their relationship. What one person considers cheating may differ from another. Explore everything that has been overlooked and work on the shortcomings in the relationship.
It is also important not to feel ashamed about trying to repair the relationship after infidelity and to rebuild trust. Divorce does not always have to be the end of a marriage following infidelity. Seeking help from a marriage counselor or a psychologist—a professional who helps people deal with emotional and relationship problems—can be beneficial in repairing a marriage after betrayal.
If you are struggling with emotional distress due to infidelity, speaking to a professional can help. You can visit a doctor or seek online consultation through the Ai Care application, available on the App Store and Play Store.
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- dr. Pandu Lesmana
