You have probably heard the term daddy issues many times. These terms don't have an exact definition, but nowadays, they are popular. This well-known phrase is widely used to refer to people who have problems in their relationship with their biological father or to refer to women who like or date older men.
What exactly are daddy issues, and what conditions cause these situations? Here's what we found out in the following article.
What are daddy issues?
People generally use the term daddy issues to refer to the psychological impact and how it affects their lives due to a dysfunctional relationship between the father and the child in childhood. Children who have an unhealthy relationship with their fathers or whose fathers are often absent during their upbringing may experience father-figure deprivation.
A young child needs a responsible, dependable adult in his or her life to form a loving relationship that is bonded and secure. When this relationship is not formed due to the absence of an adult figure to depend on, the child may develop an avoidant relationship pattern, be anxious, or have fears that others will not want to be with them.
Problems arising from the emotional absence of parental figures in a child's life can be experienced by anyone, whether the child has divorced parents or complete parents. Still, the relationship with the child is not harmonious. The emotional emptiness of parental figures can also be felt by children whose parents are rarely with the family and are involved in addiction.
This condition is not a mental health problem recognized by the DSM-5. Some people feel this term describes the issue. However, some people feel that the term "minimizes" their trauma and experience in that it places the blame on the traumatized individual rather than acknowledging the complexity of the root cause.
Read more: Mom Guilt, Rasa Bersalah yang Kerap Dirasakan Orang Tua
Signs of daddy issues
Daddy issues is not an official health disorder term, so the symptoms of daddy issues are also difficult to define. However, if you feel that your relationship with your father is non-existent or hard to explain, it doesn't hurt to dig deeper. Could a poor relationship with a father figure cause you to have problems forming relationships with others as an adult?
Below are a few things you can look out for, namely:
Fear of being alone or fear of abandonment
Feeling anxious, insecure or unconfident is often associated with the fear of being discarded or abandoned by others. These fears can arise because a primary caregiver, such as your father, has denied or abandoned you in the past.
These fears can manifest as a person matures. Sometimes, you can feel so insecure about your relationship that you're always the one trying to hold on to it for fear of being left or abandoned.
Always in need of reassurance
Growing insecurity can make it difficult to feel secure, even in relationships. This encourages you always to need reassurance and demand attention from others. Sometimes, this attitude becomes problematic in social relationships between friends or partners.
Feels jealous easily
A 2016 study revealed that women whose fathers abandoned them in childhood tend to experience more anxiety and jealousy in their romantic relationships. These feelings can manifest into problems in the relationship, such as exhibiting dependency behaviors, snooping on a partner's phone or personal belongings, or irritability and arguments after spending time separately from each other.
Tend to try to please others
The fear of abandonment can make you try too hard to please others. This is done to make others happy to be with you, but you can be vulnerable to putting aside your desires to please others.
Read more: Tanda-Tanda Anda Mengalami Masalah Trust Issue
How to deal with daddy issues
While daddy issues are not a mental health problem, the absence of a parental figure can cause problems in a child's psychological development. Children who grow up without a father figure who is emotionally present tend to have low self-confidence. In addition, children can also have difficulty in finding their own identity. This can cause children to experience risky behavior problems when they grow up.
It is recommended that you consult a psychologist or psychiatrist. The mental health professional will recommend appropriate therapies, such as behavioral or other appropriate therapies, to address the problem if you have questions about other psychological problems. If you want to know more about other psychological problems, you can also use the consultation feature on the Ai Care application.
Looking for more health tips and tricks, first aid, and home remedies? Click here!
- dr. Yuliana Inosensia
Vinney, C. (2022). Daddy Issues: History, Impact, and How to Cope. [online] Verywell Mind. Available at: https://www.verywellmind.com/what-are-daddy-issues-5190911.
Psych Central. (2022). What Are Daddy Issues and How Do They Impact Relationships? [online] Available at: https://psychcentral.com/health/what-are-daddy-issues-exactly.
Healthline. (2020). Yes, ‘Daddy issues’ Are Real Thing — Here’s How to Deal. [online] Available at: https://www.healthline.com/health/what-are-daddy-issues.