Starting at approximately two years old, children enter a typical phase of emotional growth characterized by heightened feelings and increased emotional expression. During this time, children may experience various emotions, both positive and negative, including frustration, anger, or unease.
When facing negative emotions, children can become overwhelmed, underscoring the importance for parents to assist them in identifying, comprehending, and managing their emotions.
Steps to Help Kids Calm Down
There are five steps you can take to help children calm themselves when they are overwhelmed by emotions, especially the negative emotions they are experiencing.
Understand their emotion
It is important to observe and pay attention to children's behavioral signs and body language to recognize the emotions they are feeling. Make closer observations by observing the child's expressions, body movements, or other physical signs such as hand wringing, lip biting or eye movements.
Give your child your full attention when they try to express their feelings. Ask questions to help children explain and express what they feel. Don't ignore nonverbal cues such as voice intonation or physical gestures that indicate your child's feelings.
Identify and connect the emotion
Children tend to be confused about the feelings they are experiencing, so parents need to help by naming and relating their emotions to what they are experiencing. Parents can ask questions like, "What makes you sad?", "Did something happen that made you angry?" and so forth.
Make sure children know that the negative emotions they experience are normal and that even bad feelings are normal. Also, explain that sometimes the body also has physical reactions such as a fast heartbeat or the body feeling hot. Labeling and relating emotions helps children build strong emotional skills and understand themselves better.
Pause to give them more time
After identifying and connecting emotions with their experiences, refrain from immediately offering guidance. Allow your child space to digest the information and react accordingly.
Even though moments of silence might seem uncomfortable, it's crucial to grant children adequate time to gather themselves, enhance their ability to solve problems and boost their self-assurance. Keep in mind that children, being young, require time to comprehend their emotions and the queries you pose. Avoid overwhelming them with questions, as it can lead to confusion.
Give your support
Good advice is indeed beneficial for children, but what is no less important is the right support. Make your child feel calmer and more secure by knowing that you will always support him.
Helping the child solve problems
Apart from being confused about their feelings, sometimes children are not always able to find solutions to their problems. Encourage them to brainstorm potential solutions by offering suggestions they can contemplate.
your child's actions breach norms or rules, enforce clear consequences to convey that such behavior is unacceptable.
Studies indicate that children typically gain significant emotional control by ages 8-9. However, if your older child struggles to manage emotions effectively, consulting a doctor can offer valuable insights.
If you need medical advice or consultation, you can either visit a doctor or make use of the consultation features that are available in the Ai Care application by downloading the Ai Care application from the App Store or Play Store
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- dr. Yuliana Inosensia
Raising Children (2021). Helping children calm down: 3-8 years. Available From: https://raisingchildren.net.au/preschoolers/behaviour/behaviour-management-tips-tools/helping-children-calm-down-3-8-years
Medline Plus (2022). Stress in childhood. Available from: https://medlineplus.gov/ency/article/002059.htm
Kids Health. Understanding Your Emotions. Available from: https://kidshealth.org/en/teens/understand-emotions.html
Amy Morin, LCSW (2021). How to Help a Highly Emotional Child Cope With Big Feelings. Available from: https://www.verywellfamily.com/how-to-help-an-overly-emotional-child-4157594