Temper tantrums are abrupt displays of anger and frustration commonly seen in children. These reactions are often intense, even in response to minor incidents. Tantrums may manifest physically, verbally, or through a combination of both.
Typically occurring in children between the ages of 1 and 4, tantrums are not specific to a particular gender and can affect both boys and girls. During tantrums, children may whine, cry, scream, kick, hit, and even hold their breath.
While tantrums are a normal part of development, parents can feel exhausted when dealing with these situations.
Cause of temper tantrum
Before knowing how to deal with a child who is having a tantrum, you need to know first what causes it.
Tantrums occur more when children have not developed the ability to communicate perfectly. They have difficulty making parents understand their desires and intentions. The frustration that arises from not arriving at communication is channeled through crying, screaming, or punching. As children's language and communication skills improve, tantrums will generally decrease.
The causes of children's angry outbursts are quite diverse, including:
- Children feel frustrated when parents don't understand their will
- Children seek attention
- Children really want something, for example, food or toys
- Avoid doing something your parents ask you to do, for example, cleaning toys or coming home from play
- Hunger or late eating
- Fatigue
How to deal with temper tantrums in children
When facing a child's outburst of anger, the first important thing to do is ensure their safety. Take your child to a place that is not too crowded and harmless so they have enough time to communicate with you and manage their emotions.
Then, follow these steps to deal with his outburst of anger:
- Remain calm in your child's response, To calm your child, remember that you also have to be calm
- Ignore your child's tantrums to show that what they are doing is unacceptable and will not make them get what they wants
- Try to find out what caused their anger to explode by inviting them to talk heart-to-heart
- Give praise to children when they manage to calm down and explain why their child's wishes are not fulfilled
- If the child seems to be endangering themself or others, take the child to a quiet and safe place to help calm down
When should you bring your child to see a medical doctor?
Typically, these outbursts of anger last from 2 to 15 minutes before the child starts to calm down. Please seek medical consultation if the tantrum lasts more than 15 minutes and is followed by aggressive actions such as striking or holding one’s breath.
You should also consider consulting a doctor if you notice the following:
- Tantrums continue to escalate even after the age of 4
- The child exhibits self-harm or aggression towards others or property during tantrums
- Attempts to hold breath until fainting occur
- The child experiences headaches, stomachaches, or anxiety during tantrums
- You struggle to manage your child's outbursts, despite employing various strategies
- Tantrums last longer than 15 minutes and occur frequently
If you need medical advice or consultation, you can either visit a doctor or make use of the consultation features that are available in the Ai Care application by downloading the Ai Care application from the App Store or Play Store.
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- Sean Edbert Lim, MBBS
Kids Health (2022). Temper Tantrums. Available from: https://kidshealth.org/en/parents/tantrums.html
Cleveland Clinic (2021). Temper Tantrums. Available from: https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/articles/14406-temper-tantrums
Stephanie Brown (2020). Can a Temper Tantrum Hurt My Toddler?. Available from: https://www.verywellfamily.com/can-a-temper-tantrum-be-harmful-to-my-toddler-290426
Lori Anander (2021). Tantrum: Red Flags. Available from: https://www.webmd.com/add-adhd/childhood-adhd/child-tantrum-behavior-disorder