Physical intimacy is one of the most important aspects of a romantic relationship. Physical intimacy, such as touching, hugging, or kissing, can deepen the emotional bond and romance between two partners. Many couples feel that physical intimacy contributes to the happiness level of the relationship. This physical intimacy also helps you and your partner feel closer to each other.
Communication, honesty, and respect for each other can make relationships better. Physical intimacy should be done with consent from all parties. Asking for consent shows that you value yourself and your partner. Consent indicates voluntariness and comfort, whereas, without consent, forced physical intimacy can be interpreted as sexual violence.
Understanding consent
In the context of sexual activity, consent in relationships is important. This means that consent for any physical touching and sexual activity you want to do with another person must be given clearly and voluntarily. It cannot be assumed.
Being consensual in a relationship has several important points that need to be considered, some of which are:
- Voluntary in nature means that consent is given without any force or pressure of a coercive nature and must be given freely to express consent.
- Clear and coherent means that all parties can fully understand each other's boundaries and wishes.
- Conscious means that all parties know the actions to be taken and make decisions in a state of consciousness that allows them to think clearly.
- Without the influence of drugs and alcohol, which means that the consent was given clearly, not under the influence of drugs and alcohol
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Types of consent
There are two types of consent, which include:
Verbal consent
Verbal consent refers to consent given through speech, such as:
- Yes
- OK
- I'm sure
- I want to/I would like to
- I like it/I love it
- Sounds fun/sounds like fun/sounds good, etc.
- I agree/approve/concur
- I enjoyed/enjoy/enjoying it
Nonverbal consent
Nonverbal consent refers to consent that is given through gestures and without being spoken, such as:
- Nodding
- Thumbs up - OK sign
- Pulling body/someone else's body closer
- Being relaxed and showing a sense of comfort when the body touches
- Maintaining eye contact
Read more: Tips Menjadi Pendengar yang Baik Bagi Korban Kekerasan Seksual
Why does consent matter in relationship?
In a relationship, consent shows respect for your partner and respect for each other's boundaries. Both you and your partner have the right to decide what happens to your body. Giving consent shows that rights and boundaries are not being violated.
This consent is given in relationships with anyone, whether someone you've just met or someone you've been with for a long time. Communicating your consent and boundaries clearly with others is helpful in romantic relationships. The communication of consent not only improves the quality of the relationship but also helps to ensure the safety of both partners.
Consent also creates emotional and physical comfort so partners will always feel protected. Also, consent is key in preventing sexual violence because any physical intimacy and sexual activity should be based on clear and positive consent; there should be no coercion or pressure.
What is sexual violence?
The lack of explicit consent from the victim in sexual contact or activity can be considered sexual violence. Types of sexual violence include and not limited to:
- Attempted rape where there is an attempt to force and threaten the victim to have sexual intercourse
- Unwanted sexual touches include caresses, body or genital area touches, or any other actions that involve sexual contact.
- Forcing certain sexual acts, such as oral sex
- Performing sexual penetrative acts on the victim's body, whether vaginal, anal, or oral, without the consent of the victim
Withholding consent in sexual activity is a basic right of every person. Without clear consent, any sexual act is considered sexual violence.
Seek professional help when you experience sexual violence through the following contacts:
LBH APIK Jakarta
+628138882669
SAPA Service Kemenpppa
129
SEJIWA himpsi.or.id
119
Alternatively, you can use the consultation service by downloading the Ai Care app via the App Store or Play Store.
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- dr Hanifa Rahma