Anger is a common emotion felt by both adults and children. In children, anger is generally shown by shouting, throwing things, having tantrums, and crying. What causes children to get angry easily, and how do you deal with it?
Causes of Anger in Children
Anger in children is a natural thing. Children can also feel emotions like adults, such as sadness, disappointment and anger.
If parents find their children angry, they should not respond to their children's anger by yelling at them or scolding them back. This can actually cause children to grow up angry and assume that anger can only be resolved with the same emotion.
Angry children can be caused by various things, depending on the age and maturity of the child. Some of the causes of children's irritability include:
Infant age (0–18 months): At this age, children sometimes show angry emotions or cry when they are hungry, noisy, or tired. At this age, crying is the baby's way of communicating, so children express what they feel (tired, hungry, or noisy) by crying.
Toddler age (18–36 months): At this age, children start to need more attention, so they cry easily if they don't get the attention they want. Other causes of child irritability at this age include: children do not want to share; their requests are not obeyed; they cannot express in words what they want; and they have difficulty controlling their feelings.
Preschooler age (3–5 years): At this age, children get angry because they cannot yet control their emotions. Children are also not yet good at expressing themselves in words when frustrated and angry. Toddlers are also learning how to share and still can't understand that other people have different ideas. Children's anger can be shown through verbal anger or aggressive behavior.
Age 6–8 years: Children get angry when they feel something is unfair, when they are rejected, punished, discriminated against, or misunderstood. They show anger by hurting and intimidating others and using hurtful words.
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How to Deal With Irritable Children
Some of the ways you can deal with an irritable child include:
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Recognize the causes of child anger
When you see your child getting angry, the first thing you need to do is identify the cause of your child's anger. The child could be angry because they are hungry, not feeling well, or having problems at school or in their friendship circle.
After recognizing the causes of anger in children and listening to all their complaints, you can give them advice. Explain to the child that although anger is natural, it does not need to be vented with uncontrolled anger, especially with violence such as hitting, kicking or slamming things.
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Teach anger management
Teach your children how to calm themselves down when they are angry. You can teach them breathing exercises or take them to a quiet place to make it easier to calm down.
At the age of a toddler, you can divert his anger with other activities that he likes. But at the age of elementary school children, you can invite them to take a deep breath and then exhale slowly.
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Give consequences
If the child's anger is followed by aggressive behavior, then you can give consequences to the child in the form of time out or taking away the child's privileges. This way, the child will learn that violent behavior is not acceptable. If the child violates and repeats this behavior in the future, then they need to accept the punishment.
Anger is a normal emotion, but that does not mean that anger can be followed by violence. When your child is angry, it's best to find out the cause first, then calm them down with breathing exercises.
If you are having trouble controlling your child's emotions, you can consult with a professional by downloading the Ai Care app on the Play Store or App Store.
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- dr Nadia Opmalina